I wrote this poem in 2001 and dedicate it to:
All of those who have considered, attempted or committed suicide.
All of those who have lost a loved one to suicide.
All of those who have judged someone who has attempted or committed suicide.
I know it’s hard for you to understand
why I have chosen to leave you all behind.
You feel frustrated because you think if I had
held on a little longer, I would have made a turn
and seen a ray of light.
You feel guilty because you didn’t know,
you didn’t see it coming.
You blame yourself for not trying hard enough,
not persevering one more time.
But most of all,
you feel pain.
A void in your heart
in the space I used to fill.
I want you to know, it is not your fault.
The blame lies with no-one.
Feel blessed for the time you have had with me,
do not feel cheated for the time you have lost.
It is hard to understand why my soul passed
into this world a short while,
only to be taken so soon.
It seems cruel and unfair from where you’re standing
but try to look at it from mine…
I was born into a world that did not allow
for a gentle, sensitive spirit as mine.
Your earthly world is cold and harsh
it continually tries to break the spirit.
I tried my best to beat it,
to harden myself like other’s.
But my spirit was not made that way.
It was easily broken,
and after much battering and bruising,
it simply broke in two.
I could not put it back together again.
My soul yearned for the tranquility and gentleness
it was born into.
My soul chose to give up the battle
and lead the way back home.
Do not think of me as gone,
as being worse off than you,
for although my body has returned to dust
my spirit remains with you.
Do not look for me like you used to,
for I will not be there.
Rather, look for me in the sun
that rises in the morning
and sets in the evening.
Look for me in the springtime flowers
and the autumn leaves.
Listen for me in the nightingale’s song,
the wind in the trees
and the roar of the ocean.
Listen to all I have told you.
I have passed from this world
and returned to the other.
I am no longer broken.
I am resting quietly,
in the warmth of the sun,
and sleeping peacefully,
by the light of the moon.
© 2013 B.G. Bowers
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